How Perfectionism Hinders Your Progress
Hey Squad!
I wanted to chat about a few specific traits that perfectionists have - whether you consider yourself one or not. Some of these traits and tendencies can hold you back or hinder you when it comes to your health and fitness goals. What are those traits, and how can you work through them?
Keep reading to find out!
Hi, I’m Mia and I’m a recovering Type A Perfectionist.
I can track my perfectionism tendencies back to when I was young and in competitive dance. If any detail of a routine was less than perfect, I had to do it again and again until it was.
And that need for things to be perfect carried over into my adult life.
Thankfully, I’m recovering from that mindset after a lot of personal work and growth. I’m no therapist or psychologist, but if you’re a perfectionist too - I understand why you are the way that you are. I understand the tendencies that make you operate the way you do. So, what are those tendencies?
Common Perfectionist Tendencies
- Making extensive lists and to-dos.
- Adhering strictly to schedules.
- Becoming hyper-focused or over-obsessed with details.
- Striving for control and precision.
- Experiencing frustration or anger when things don’t go as planned.
- Feeling that if something can’t be done perfectly, it’s not worth doing at all.
How Perfectionism Hinders Your Progress
Maybe you’ve caught yourself using the phrases “I just need to get back on track” or ‘I need to stop falling off the wagon”. But really, there is no track or wagon to get back onto. If we are looking to create healthy, sustainable habits that we can continue to carry out for the long term, then there is no “falling off” or “getting back on”.
This kind of mindset means that you see your health and fitness as something that you’re completely nailing all of the time or not doing at all.
This can also show up as you telling yourself, “If I didn’t do it perfectly then it doesn’t count”. I see this with clients when it comes to completing their workouts. If they complete 2 out of 3 workouts for the week, then they’re upset or discouraged with themselves for only completing the 2 workouts.
All-or-Nothing Thinking in Action
This all-or-nothing mindset is common in food situations too. Maybe you stray away from your diet, or you overconsume then you just decide to ditch your diet altogether for the rest of the day, weekend or even week. You might think “I already messed up this morning so I might as well just keep going for the rest of the day”. That’s like having 1 flat tire and figuring you might as well slash the other 3.
The last mindset around this all-or-nothing thinking is the pendulum swing. This is where you’re either really strict with your fitness and nutrition OR it’s a complete free-for-all with no structure. This is similar to thinking you’re either on the wagon or you’re off.
This is when you can start to use nutrition and fitness as a way to punish yourselves when you’ve been “bad”. You decide to swing to the other end of the pendulum again and go really strict with your diet and exercise, then swing back after one mess up. It just ends up being this continuous toxic cycle that can be hard to break free from.
All-or-nothing thinking hinders you from making real, sustainable progress in healthy habit-building. You’re not really forming a long-term solution of how you can continue these habits regularly, even when times aren’t perfect or ideal.
This attitude can bring feelings of shame and guilt when you aren’t being 100% adherent to the goals that you’ve set for yourselves. When you don’t get the perfect outcome that you’re looking for you tend to beat yourself up or make yourself feel bad.
This can lead to a lot of negative self-talk and picking yourself apart by shaming and guilting yourself for not being perfect. And this is how you end up with a really negative and rocky relationship with yourself, your body, and your relationship with food and exercise.
Tips for Breaking Free of Perfectionism
- Embrace the grey area.
There will be times when health and fitness are less of a priority in your life. But it doesn’t mean there has to be a concrete stop and start to your habits. It’s not all in or all out. If you can learn to live in the grey area more when it comes to your health and fitness that’s what is going to yield long-term results.
2. Set realistic goals using ranges.
Another way you can improve this is by giving yourself ranges. Try aiming for 2-3 workouts per week, instead of aiming solely for 3 workouts. This gives a little bit of flexibility knowing that you can still feel good about yourself if you hit the minimum number of workouts that week. If you get the 3rd one, great! If you do more than that it’s a bonus!
This still leaves plenty of room for progress and provides room for variability. Not every week is going to look the same with all of the commitments and priorities you have. By giving yourself a range, you’re giving yourself grace when you aren’t able to meet the higher end of the target while still having that sense of structure and accountability.
It also helps you gather wins healthily and sustainably and allows you to feel like you’re still making progress moving forward.
3. Focus on what you can do.
Let’s say you go for a walk with your dog every day for 20-30 minutes as part of your routine. But the weather is crappy out and your dog doesn’t like the rain. Instead of saying “Well, I can’t do my walk outside because it’s raining”, ask yourself “What can I do instead”?
Could you do some laps around the house with your dog? Could you play with your dog in the living room? Could you do some yoga while playing with your dog? Instead of focusing on what we can’t do, figure out an alternative.
This allows you to do something rather than nothing. It allows you to continue moving forward- it’s a lot harder to keep that momentum going if you stop or only decide to do it when times are ideal.
4. View fitness as a continuum.
By viewing fitness as a continuum or a spectrum that never ends you stop looking at your health and fitness journey as a track or a wagon. It’s not something that stops or that you can get off of - rather, it’s a continuum. It goes forever and there's no stopping.
Yes, sometimes you’re participating in it more than other times. There are different seasons of life after all! But that doesn’t mean you have to slip back into the mindset of doing nothing. This also helps you to find that middle point in the pendulum, rather than swinging from one side to the other.
Perfectionist traits and tendencies can be difficult to overcome - especially when it comes to your health and fitness goals. Sometimes you don’t even realize it’s happening, which is the case with many of my clients. But it is possible to embrace flexibility, celebrate progress and adapt to life’s changes. While doing that you can also create sustainable long-term change and growth.
Listen and Share
If you found this helpful, share it with a friend who struggles with these tendencies too! You can also listen to more on this topic on Episode 9 of The Find Your Strength Podcast. Click HERE to listen to the full episode.